By Fred R. Talisman Licensed Marriage Counselor

I’ve been doing couples counseling for over 20 years. During that time, I‘ve specialized in saving marriages that were on the verge of ending even when only one person still wanted the relationship to work and even when they had no hope that it could be saved.

Recent question from a reader:

Dear Fred,

My husband and I broke up 3 months ago. We reconciled a week ago. He had another lover during the time we were apart. A part of me wants to grill him until I get all the details about what happened. Another part of me thinks that’s the worst thing I can do. I have a friend in a similar situation. She is so obsessed about what happened during her breakup that she is constantly questioning her husband for all the details. She has a hard time sleeping now and is stuffing herself all the time with food. I don’t want to wind up like her. I want to save my marriage. What should I do?

Distressed Wife.

Hi Distressed Wife,

You are wise to think this through.  This is a common marriage problem that I’ve run across over the years I’ve been doing marriage therapy. Here’s what I’ve seen from my experience as a marital counselor. The person in your position has the illusion that if they “get all the facts” they can put it behind them. With rare exception, I see the opposite happening. The more information they pull out of their partner, the more upset they feel, the more questions they have and the more they push their partner away. It’s like a bottomless pit. As a couples therapist here’s what I would advice a good friend or a family member that called me with the same concern. It would be much wiser for you to get an excellent counselor or coach to help you put this behind you and for both of you to work with a relationship saving marriage therapist together to address and resolve the underlying issues that caused the initial breakup in the first place.

Best wishes,

Fred

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P.S. As part of the couples therapy I do, I sometimes recommend inspiring dvds for couples to watch together. I just watched a wonderful dvd, “A Smile As Big As The Moon.” It’s based on a true story.

© 2008 – 2012 Fred R. Talisman All Rights Reserved

By Fred R. Talisman Licensed Marriage Counselor

I’ve been doing couples counseling for over 20 years. During that time, I‘ve specialized in saving relationships that were on the verge of ending even when only one person still wanted the relationship to work and even when they had no hope that it could be saved.

Recent question from a reader:

Hi Fred,

My   boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. We have a baby together. We recently had a big fight and I yelled and screamed at him like I often do.

He’s a pretty quiet guy. He usually doesn’t tell me what’s bothering him.

After I calmed down, he opened up more with me. He said he hates my yelling and screaming. He also said he’s felt that since we had the baby that he feels that I’ve abandoned him. I have to admit that since the baby was born, she’s been my whole focus. He says that I don’t pay attention to him or listen to him. He said he doesn’t think I’ll change and if I don’t he’s going to break up with me.

I love him. He’s a great dad to our baby and a loving partner. I don’t want to lose him.

What I most want is to save my relationship. What steps can I take to do that?

- Worried and confused.

—-

Hi worried and confused.

You are not alone. This is a common marriage problem that I’ve run across over the years I’ve been doing relationship counseling.

Since your top priority is to save your relationship, I’m going to share with you some of the advice I give to my marriage therapy clients that have a similar set of problems.

As a couples therapist I teach people to only communicate when you’re calm. Your relationship is in a fragile state. It’s too risking to communicate when you’re upset and hurt. Once you yell and scream at him, you can’t take it back.

As a marital counselor, I also tell my clients that you can’t address what you don’t know about. Your partner is much more likely to open up to you about what’s bothering him if he thinks that you’ll react in a calm way.

Obviously, since his concern is that you don’t pay attention to him or listen to him you want to rectify that as part of your efforts to save your relationship. If you’re busy taking care of the baby, don’t try to divide your attention. As a relationship therapist what I’ve taught clients to say in similar situations is:   “I’m happy to talk to you and to give you my full attention as soon as the baby has settled down.”

When the baby has settled down sit down with your boyfriend. Hold his hand. Look him in the eye and give him your full attention. Be the loving, supportive, positive partner that you want to be.

You can’t convince him in a single conversation that you’ll change. But you can convince him across time that you have changed by making the changes you want to make and staying consistent in doing them.

Best wishes.

Fred

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P.S. As part of the couples therapy I do, I sometimes recommend inspiring dvds for couples to watch together. I just watched a sweet and inspiriting dvd, “Mitch Albom’s Have a Little Faith.” It’s based on a true story.

© 2008 – 2012 Fred R. Talisman All Rights Reserved

By Fred R. Talisman Licensed Marriage, Family Counselor

For over 20 years as a couples therapist, I‘ve specialized in saving relationships that were on the verge of ending even when only one person still wanted the relationship to work and even when they had no hope that it could be saved.

You’ve probably known of couples that went to couples counseling and wound up breaking up.

Even one session with the wrong couples therapist can finalize your breakup. The right one can be one of your biggest assets in saving your relationship.

When a relationship is in crisis, it’s in a very delicate state. Relationship counseling is not neutral. It can help make the relationship better. If done incorrectly, it can push the relationship over the edge.

All couple counselors have their biases.

Some marital counselors think that if a relationship isn’t working, a person should get out. They’ll tend to guide an individual or couple in that direction. I call them relationship enders.

Other marriage counselors, like myself, believe that, with rare exception, an individual and/or couple should do everything possible to learn and master the skills to make their relationship work and thus to save their relationship and keep their family together. And, we show you step by step how to save it. We’re relationship savers.

It’s my professional belief and experience that most romantic relationships that end, end unnecessarily and end with the couple still having love for each other.

It’s my experience, that for most relationships in crisis, that when an individual or couple gets the right kind of help and training and consistently practices those skills that they can actually not just stay together but can both individually thrive staying together.

What you should look for when you’re interviewing relationship counselors?

It would help you to understand, in general, how couples counseling is conducted.

There tends to be two different ways that couple counseling is done.

The way it’s often conducted, the relationship therapist will get the couple to talk about the marriage problems and their upset feelings. Each session they will have them talk about their feelings and problems and perhaps give them insights and understandings as to why they have those feelings and problems.

It’s a process that can go on for months and even longer.

That way of working takes a long time. Often, a person that’s ready to leave the relationship won’t stick around that long.

There’s a bigger problem with that way of working.

If a therapist gets a couple to talk about the relationship problems and to continue to rehash those problems and upsets each session, without giving them tools and solutions early on in the process, the couple and especially the person that’s on the verge of ending the relationship, will tend to get even more upset.

It’s a potentially destructive way of working and can wind up finalizing the breakup.

A competent, experienced relationship saving marriage counselor can usually get the bulk of the information they need to help you to save your relationship within that first session and can also, during that first session, give you an overview of how specifically they can help you to get the relationship back on track.

With the right counselor, if your partner is in any way open to giving you a last chance, your partner will often leave that first session with you with a feeling of guarded hopefulness. They are likely to see that with the counselor’s help, that if you two follow through with what you’re learning from the counselor that you really can make your relationship work.

When your partner has told you they want to break up, that first couple counseling session will either help you to get a last chance with your partner or, if that session is conducted incorrectly, it can finalize the breakup.

In my experience, that first session with a couple, when a person has already told their partner they want to break up, is a very delicate, critical time.

As a Relationship Saver, I find that it’s useful to assume that the leaving partner is one step away from leaving for good. If I’m wrong, no harm. If I’m right, then I will proceed with a caution that can help that couple to have a turning point.

In my experience, in most cases, that despite their insistence that the relationship is over for them, the leaving partner is willing to do that first session because they secretly hope there really is a way to save the relationship and they really do want to be able to justify to themselves giving their partner a last chance.

In my experience, most come to realize, by the end of the first session, that with my help, the relationship really can get better for them. They are now willing to give their partner a last chance and to have more sessions with me to learn how to make their relationship really work for both of them.

When you’re interviewing marital therapists first pay attention to how you feel when you talk to them.

Pay attention to how you feel when you talk to the therapist. If they talk down to you or they make you feel uncomfortable, they are probably wrong for you.

If you feel calmed or reassured when you talk to the counselor AND they meet your other criteria, that’s a good sign.

Other qualities to look for when you’re talking to a potential marital counselor: Do they have a positive attitude; are they confident in their abilities to help you save your relationship; are they friendly, encouraging and supportive?

What should you ask relationship therapists when you interview them and what should you look for in their approach to couples counseling?

Here’s an example of how to interview potential counselors to help save your relationship:

You(Y): Hi, my relationship is in trouble and I was wondering if you could help me. Do you have a couple of minutes so I can tell you, briefly, what’s going on and find out how you would work with us?

Th(therapist): sure, go ahead.

Y: You briefly tell them your presenting problem. (For example): My partner caught me cheating on them and they’ve said they’re fed up and they’re going to leave me. Can you help us?

Th: I hope so. I can see you this Friday at 3pm.

Y: Can I ask you a couple of brief questions?

Th: sure.

Y; How long have you been in practice and what do you specialize in?”

(Usually, nothing takes the place of experience. A therapist that’s been in practice for 10 years or longer, and who specializes in saving romantic relationships, has a level of understanding based on their experience that newer less experienced therapists or one’s that don’t specialize in saving relationships don’t have access to. However, you will occasionally run across a newer, very competent therapist that can really help you out.)

Y: How specifically would you work with us?

(If you ask a marital counselor how they approach saving a relationship and they can’t tell you their process of how they go about doing that, they either are “unconsciously competent” in saving relationships or they probably aren’t relationship savers.)

When you’re trying to find a relationship saving couples counselor, what if the therapist you call won’t talk to you on the phone and their receptionist says you have to make and pay for an appointment to talk to them?

My bias is, that I wouldn’t recommend that you “blindly” pay for and do a session with a professional before you’ve had the opportunity to interview them by phone.

What if they won’t answer your questions on the phone and just say “oh, sure I can help you, just make an appointment.”

If they can’t or won’t answer your questions, you have no basis to make a decision to take the next step with them. You also don’t know if they’re a relationship saver or a relationship ender. It’s time to call the next relationship counselor on your list.

What can you do if you can’t find the right relationship saving marriage counselor?

If you can’t find the right couple counselor, or if you prefer to work with me, you can reach me at 310 429-3658 or you can email me .

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Free Initial Save Your Relationship Consultation With Fred Talisman MFT

I wish you the best of luck.

Fred Talisman MFT

Licensed Marriage Counselor
Saving marriages for over 20 years
Author of: Save Your Relationship
http://saveyourrelationship.com/help/home-study-course/
A proven system to rescue your relationship and to keep your family together.
Cell: 310 429-3658

P.S. As part of the couples therapy I do, I sometimes recommend inspiring dvds for couples to watch together. I just watched a wonderful and touching dvd, “Snowmen.” It’s based on a true story.

For over 20 years as a couples therapist, I‘ve specialized in saving relationships that were on the verge of ending even when only one person still wanted the relationship to work and even when they had no hope that it could be saved.

As a marriage counselor, I’ve found that many of my clients have parents or in-laws that are, at times, adversely affecting their life and their relationship.  Here are some ideas that I’ve given to clients coming for couples counseling that might help that I recently gave to Sam.

Sam has kindly given me permission to base this blog post on the exchange he and I had about this common marriage problem.
Dear Fred,

My Dad is widowed. He has lots of friends and is very active on almost a daily basis at the local senior center especially playing cards with his buddies there.

He expects me to call him every day.  When I don’t, he keeps leaving voice mail messages and sending me emails about how hurt he is and says or implies I don’t love him and that he feels abandoned.

When I do call him, he goes on and on for what feels like hours and all he does is whine and complain and puts me down. He tells me all the things wrong with me and with my wife and with how I’m living my life. And, he keeps rehashing the past over and over.

When I tell him how he makes me feel he just acts hurt and sad and says more things to guilt me. He never really listens to me. When he comes over or we go to his place, he’s very controlling and constantly telling me and my wife what to do. My wife can’t stand to be around him.

I come out of every conversation and every visit with him drained and exhausted and defeated. This is putting a strain on my marriage and has become one of the biggest marriage problems we are having. When he calls during work hours, it’s hard for me to concentrate in my meetings after I speak with him. He’s ruining my life. I don’t care if I ever see or talk to him again and that makes me feel really guilty. I would appreciate any advice you can give me.

Thank you,
Sam( name changed to protect the guilted)

Hi Sam,

It sounds like you both love your Dad very much and that you feel trapped and controlled by him.

I can tell you that as a marriage counselor this is a relationship problem I run across a lot in doing marriage therapy.

Here are some possibilities for you that I have found as couples therapist have worked for my clients:

Call your Dad at five minutes to the hour during work hours. Tell him you are about to go into a meeting but that you wanted to say hi before you do. That will help to keep the conversations short but still make him feel that you’re connecting with him.

When you go to visit with him, consider going by yourself. You can make up a believable reason why your wife can’t come. That will take some of the strain off your marriage.

When you do visit him, do some activities that you both enjoy doing together. For example, if you take him to a movie you both want to see, then up to two hours of your visit is watching a movie you’ll enjoy and being free from the negativity you are used to receiving from him.

Try going with him to the senior center on at least one of your visits. I predict he will be on much better behavior there than when he’s alone with you. If he is, that can be a standard part of your visit and you can also suggest that he invites his friends from the senior center over when you come for a visit and you can do a fun activity together as a small group like playing cards.

Again, as a marriage counselor, these are options that I have found in relationship counseling that have worked for many of my clients that were having a similar relationship problem.  Let me know how they work for you.

Take care,
Fred

Fred Talisman MFT, Licensed Marriage Counselor

 
Here is  Sam’s report to me on what happened:

Hi Fred,

Your suggestions were a life saver and they’re working!

My Dad is fine when I call him 5 minutes to the hour and tell him I’m about to go into a meeting.

You were right. He’s a whole different, more positive person when he’s at the senior center or when we invite his friends over for a card game when I visit.

To my surprise, he’s ok with my wife not coming with me on my visits to see him. She still comes when it’s a major holiday but she’s ok with that and we now play a lot of cards and board games on those visits and always have his friends over during the visits.

Thank you,
Sam
_______________________________________

What’s your most burning question you want to have answered?

I am grateful that you are in my community. Thank you for allowing me to share my knowledge and experience with you.

Here’s to you successfully asking for and receiving what you want from the people in your life.

And, I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic.

Feel free to forward this email to anyone you think can benefit from it.

I have a question for you.  Given where you are in your relationship right now, what  are the marriage problems or relationship problems you’d most like to have solutions for?

If you have an immediate need for my help, feel free to Contact Me or give me a call.

Take care,
Fred Talisman MFT

Licensed Marriage Counselor
Saving marriages for over 20 years
Author of: Save Your Relationship
http://saveyourrelationship.com/help/home-study-course/
A proven system to rescue your relationship and to keep your family together.
Cell: 310 429-3658

P.S. As part of the marriage therapy I do, I sometimes recommend inspiring books for couples to read or hear together on audio. I just  heard a wonderful and fascinating audio book: “Homer’s Odyssey, Or How I Learned  About Love and Life With a Blind Wonder Cat.”

By Fred Talisman, Licensed Marriage Counselor

For over 20 years of doing relationship counseling,  I‘ve specialized in saving marriages that were on the verge of ending even when only one person still wanted the relationship to work and even when they had no hope that it could be saved.

One of the most common problems I’ve run across over the years of doing couples counseling is that most people don’t know how to successfully ask for what they want. They think that if they tell their partner how angry, hurt, disappointed and/or frustrated they are with them that they’ll get the support they want. In doing so, they usually get back the opposite. So, I wrote the following brief article to give you some better alternatives. Here it is:

When I was a child, I was the kind of kid that adults that didn’t like kids liked because I was so quiet and shy.

When I went to a couples therapist when I was older, one of the best things I got out of those sessions was that my therapist taught me how to get in touch with my feelings, own my feelings and express my feelings. I was very proud of mastering the ability to do all three. I especially liked telling my partner of the time how I felt when they upset me. It was a great formula for creating more relationship problems.

My couples therapist never focused on the fact that just because I could now express my feelings, especially feelings of hurt, disappointment, anger and frustration, it didn’t mean that my partner would welcome that expression of feelings. In fact that expression was downright unwelcome. When I was dating, my “great communication skills” usually lead to even more relationship problems and ultimately to the untimely death of that relationship.

When I trained to do couples therapy, I was taught to teach others what I was taught, to get in touch with, own and express their feelings. That inadvertently made me what I think most couples therapists are by accident, a relationship ender.

Now, I’m a relationship saving marriage counselor. Here’s what I teach my clients to do with their upset feelings. Don’t stuff, them, don’t express them to your partner and don’t deny them. Well, what’s left?

Here’s what to do instead:

1.    When your partner triggers negative feelings in you, give yourself a time out. If you can’t think of what to say, just say, “I need to take a bathroom break.”

It’s not wrong to communicate when you are in negative emotion. It’s just guaranteed to make things worse between the two of you.

2.    When you’re calm, resume contact with your partner and rather than telling them what they did wrong do “positive alternative communication.” In other words, with all positive language ask for what you want instead. Positive language is not better or more accurate than negative language. It just is much more likely to get you the positive responses and change in behavior you’d like to get from your partner.

For example, rather than saying “You’re such a jerk. You’re so rude and disrespectful to me. When I talk to you you’re always distracted, texting one of your friends…”

Vs.

“It’s really important to me that when you and I are spending time together that we both turn our phones off and give each other our full attention. Would you be willing to do that?”

You can’t have it both ways in the same conversation. You can either get things off your chest which is most likely to cause your partner to withdraw from you, defend their position or verbally attack you OR you can use “positive alternative communication” when you’re calm and have a much better chance of getting what you want from them.

I want to share my gratitude.

I am grateful that you are in my community. Thank you for allowing me to share my knowledge and experience with you as a marriage counselor.

Here’s to you successfully asking for and receiving what you want from the people in your life.

And, I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic.

Feel free to forward this blog post to anyone you think can benefit from it.

–

I have a question for you.  Given where you are in your relationship right now, what is your most burning question that you want to have answered and what relationship problems do you most want to have solutions for?

If you have an immediate need for my help, feel free to Contact Me or give me a call.

Take care,

Fred Talisman MFT

Licensed Marriage Family Counselor

Saving relationships  of married and unmarried couples for over 20 years

Author of: Save Your Relationship

http://saveyourrelationship.com/help/home-study-course/

A proven system to rescue your relationship and to keep your family together.

Contact Me here OR email to:

fred@saveyourrelationship.com

Cell: 310 429-3658

P.S. As part of the marriage therapy I do, I sometimes recommend inspiring movies for couples to watch together. I just saw an inspiring DVD I rented through Netflix: “Mao’s Last Dancer.” It’s a true story of a famous dancer’s defection from China to the U.S.

By Fred Talisman MFT, Licensed Marriage Counselor

For over 20 years as a couples therapist, I‘ve specialized in saving relationships that were on the verge of ending even when only one person still wanted the relationship to work and even when they had no hope that it could be saved.

One of the most common problems I’ve run across over the years in doing relationship counseling is that most people don’t know how to successfully ask for what they want. They think that if they tell their partner how angry, hurt, disappointed and/or frustrated they are with them that they’ll get the support they want. In doing so, they usually get back the opposite. So, I wrote the following brief article to give you some better alternatives. Here it is:

Continue reading: Marriage Counseling Insider secret  for Saving Your Marriage:

“Can Expressing Your Feelings Eliminate Your Ability to Get Your Partner’s Support?”

Marriage Counseling Insider secret for Saving Your Relationship:

What the person initiating the breakup is really thinking

By Fred Talisman, License Marriage Counselor

For over 20 years I‘ve specialized in saving relationships that were on the verge of ending even when only one person still wanted the relationship to work and even when they had no hope that it could be saved.

Do you want to know a true “insider secret”? Then read on to discover what the person initiating the breakup tells a trusted friend or therapist (and what they may not be telling you)!

To create a turning point or a last chance with your partner, it will first help you to understand the relationship from their perspective.

Here are some of the things I’ve been told by those who are on the verge of ending their relationship:

• “I told my partner that I want to end the relationship, but I really want to stay together. It’s just that, we fight and argue all the time, and I don’t want to keep doing that for the rest of my life. If we could just stop arguing, then I think we could work it out.”
• “My partner has a bad temper. When we argue, they say really mean and hurtful things to me. I deserve to be treated better; and if they can’t do that, I’ll have to leave.”
• “My partner cheated on me. I really love them and I want to stay together, but I just don’t know how I can ever trust them again! I need your help to show me how to get past that.”
• “If we can’t work it out this time, I’m leaving for good! I’ve broken up with them before. My partner begged me for another chance, swearing they’d change! I reluctantly gave them another chance and they wound up doing the same things that caused me to leave in the first place! This just keeps happening! How can I trust that things will truly be different this time and that they’ll stay changed?”

A person who’s on the verge of leaving a relationship for good is in a highly self-protective place.

Whether it’s objectively true or not, they feel that their partner has emotionally injured them and has deeply hurt them. They feel they need to protect themselves from further hurt and emotional pain.

What are some of the signs that your partner is feeling self-protective?

There are many ways people attempt to protect themselves:

• They’ll say “It’s over!”

• They’ll test you by setting you up to once again say or do the things that have caused them to feel they need to leave you.

• They’ll keep themselves “distant” from you.

• They’ll keep changing their mind about staying with you or leaving you.

• They won’t express their appreciation for the positive efforts you’re making, because although they secretly like those changes, they’re afraid to get their hopes up, for fear that you’ll go back to your old ways.

As a relationship saving marriage counselor it’s much easier for me to coach someone how to save their relationship if their partner is self protective because I know from experience that if that self protective partner not only sees changes but is convinced, across time that those changes are sustainable, then they are likely to genuinely give their partner a second or last chance.

You now have some of my marriage counselor insider secrets of understanding the mindset of the partner that’s initiated the separation or breakup. Now you’re ready to learn the next steps to save your marriage and keep your family together.
In future blog posts I’ll start teaching you the skills of what it takes to save your relationship.

Get Immediate Free Help To Save Your Relationship

6 Secrets From a 20+ Year Relationship Saving Marriage Counselor

A FREE series of emails and mp3 audios that includes:

• How to know if your relationship can be saved or if you’re just wasting your time.

• How to save your relationship if there’s been cheating.

• How to convince your partner to change their mind and give you another chance.

• What to not say or do that can cause your partner to finalize the breakup and truly end your relationship.

• How to get back the loving feelings if your partner says they love you but are no longer in love with you.

• How you can save your relationship and keep your family together even if you think it’s too late, even if you fear it’s beyond saving and even if you’re the only one who wants to save it.

• Why most people trying to save their relationship give up prematurely not knowing they actually could have saved it if they knew the right things to say and do.

• What to say and do to maximize the possibility of saving your relationship

• Why making claims or promises to your partner like “I’ve changed or I’ll never do it again” actually builds greater distrust, anger and/or resentment in your partner and what to say instead.

6 Secrets From a 20+ Year Relationship Saving Marriage Counselor

A FREE series of emails and mp3 audios that includes:

• How to know if your relationship can be saved or if you’re just wasting your time.

• How to save your relationship if there’s been cheating.

• How to convince your partner to change their mind and give you another chance.

• What to not say or do that can cause your partner to finalize the breakup and truly end your relationship.

• How to get back the loving feelings if your partner says they love you but are no longer in love with you.

• How you can save your relationship and keep your family together even if you think it’s too late, even if you fear it’s beyond saving and even if you’re the only one who wants to save it.

• Why most people trying to save their relationship give up prematurely not knowing they actually could have saved it if they knew the right things to say and do.

• What to say and do to maximize the possibility of saving your relationship

• Why making claims or promises to your partner like “I’ve changed or I’ll never do it again” actually builds greater distrust, anger and/or resentment in your partner and what to say instead.

Here’s more of the free answers and tools you’ll get by signing up in the box above:

• Why many people wind up breaking up for good after they start couples counseling and how to avoid creating that fate in your relationship.

• Why trying to prove your point actually works against you, pushes your partner further away and makes your partner get more upset and what to do instead.

• How you can still save your relationship if your partner says: “it’s too little too late.”

• Why it’s probably not too late if your partner says “I love you but I’m not in love with you.”

Here’s why it’s not too late to save your relationship, if you think it’s hopeless, even if you fear that you’ve blown it for good.

Here’s what’s more likely to work if you feel that you’ve tried everything to save your relationship and nothing that you’ve done is working.

How to get past your despair if you feel your heart feels broken and it’s like you’re in a bad dream waiting to wake up.

What to say and do that will actually give you a much better chance of saving your relationship.

How to rebuild trust if there’s been lying or cheating.

How to stop the fighting, bickering and verbal abuse.

If your partner has lost their attraction for you, how to help them get it back.

If you say or do the wrong thing, even once, it can undo all of the progress you’re making. Here’s what not to say or do.

• Why trying to prove your point actually works against you, pushes your partner further away and makes your partner get more upset and, what to do instead.

• Why getting things off your chest or trying to talk things out when one or both of you is upset is virtually guaranteed to make things worse, and what to do instead.

• The trigger words that push your partner’s buttons and guarantee you’re headed for a fight or worse.

• You’ll learn the single most effective communication skill you’ll need to save your relationship.

• How to get your partner to recommit to an exclusive monogamous relationship with you when they’ve said they’ve fallen in love with someone else.

• How to rebuild trust with your partner if your partner has already given you another chance and, you broke your word again.

• How to rebuild trust when your partner feels that you’ve lied to them and they say they don’t know what to believe anymore.

• What to do when your partner is saying “we have so little affection, I feel more like we’re roommates.” How to get back the affection, romance and passion. How to get back your emotional and physical intimacy together.

• What to do if your partner says “we have very little in common and few common interests.” How to start creating more common interests and to build from there.

• How to get back on track if your partner is saying “I don’t feel heard, understood or listened to by you.”

• How to get your partner to try again when they say “I feel overwhelmed, numb and hopeless.”

• How to not blow your chances of saving your relationship by reverting back to your old ways of thinking, speaking and acting.

About Fred Talisman MFT

Fred Talisman has been called “The World’s Leading Authority On Saving Relationships.” Perhaps, he’s been called that because of his years of training and spending over twenty years, as a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, showing clients how to successfully save their relationship and keep their family together.

Joel Roberts, Former Prime Time Host, KABC Radio, Los Angeles, California says this about Fred Talisman:

How do you think of two hours? A long commute? A quarter of some people’s work day? The typical length of a Hollywood movie?

Fred Talisman, a licensed marriage family therapist of over twenty years, saves and revives a dying relationship.

How does he do it? Well he’s not the stereotypical marriage counselor who sits back and says “uh huh” and watches couples get more and more polarized as they further talk themselves out of their relationship by giving their laundry list of built up hurts and resentments.

If a couple is drowning, he’s the lifeguard and he jumps in and does whatever it takes to save them, to buy them a second chance, a turning point.

I think he’s a brilliant strategist. He uses his strategies to turn around years of pain. He uses them to defuse years of tension. He uses them to get the couple reconnected to the love and magic that brought them together in the first place. He demonstrates to them a path, a hope, a vision of the possibility of actually thriving together.

To me, Fred is The Relationship Wizard. His ability to save dying relationships are his brilliance and magic. He forged it out of the heartbreak he witnessed countless times in his early years as a traditionally trained marriage counselor, experiencing over and over how that training was grossly inadequate in assisting him to save couples in crisis. He’s a practical man. He knows from hard experience that by the time most couples go to a marriage counselor one or both may be ready to end the relationship and the window of opportunity to save that relationship is now, or never.

When it comes to saving a relationship he’s a bulldog. If there is a way to do it, he won’t let go until he finds it. I think his strategies are a gift to couples.”

By signing up in the box above you will also receive my in depth report for free: “How to Find a Marriage Counselor That Will Save Your Relationship, Not End It” that includes:

• The #1 thing you need to know to determine if a marriage counselor is a relationship saver or a relationship ender before you ever do a first session with them.

• How to know if a marriage counselor is a relationship saver or a relationship ender before you ever do a first session with them.\

• Why the way marriage counseling is usually done is potentially destructive and can wind up finalizing your breakup.

• If your partner still isn’t willing to do couples counseling with you, is your relationship doomed?

• How to get your partner to do marriage counseling with you when they’ve already said NO.

• How to make sure that you don’t do the most common mistake a person makes during marriage counseling that can cause your partner to leave for good.

• How you can avoid the costly mistake a person often makes between the time they’ve found a marriage counselor and when that first session is scheduled that causes their partner to change their mind about doing that first session with them and to then to end it for good.

• How to interview marriage counselors for free and what to look for that will tell you if they’re relationship savers or relationship enders.

• Why many people wind up breaking up for good after they start couples counseling and how to avoid creating that fate in your relationship.

• How to understand the importance of timing and why you should find and start working with the right relationship saving marriage counselor as soon as possible before it’s too late.

• The deadly mistake of first asking your partner if they’re willing to go to couples counseling with you before you go through the time and effort to find the right relationship saving marriage counselor.

• What’s the best way to interview marriage counselors, by phone, by email or in person? The answer may surprise you.

• What you should ask marriage counselors when you interview them and what to look for in their approach to couples counseling.

• Why going to a marriage counselor referred to you by a friend, relative or your family doctor can be a big mistake and can cost you your relationship.

• Here are the risks of going to a marriage counselor that’s a “preferred provider” for your insurance company or to a place that charges on a sliding scale.

• What you need to do during marriage counseling that will dramatically increase the chances of a relationship saving marriage counselor being able to help you to save your relationship.

What is your first step to save your relationship and to keep your family together?
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After the free sign up, you’ll be taken to a web page that will tell you about my indepth approach to save your relationship and you’ll have immediate access to hear my in depth Relationship saving interview.