Fred’s Blog

Full Disclosure or Let Go

Marriage Counseling Insider secret for Saving Your Marriage: : Full Disclosure or Let Go   By Fred R. Talisman Licensed Marriage Counselor I’ve been doing couples counseling for over 20 years. During that time, I‘ve specialized in saving marriages that were on the verge of ending even when only one person still wanted the relationship to work and even when they had no hope that it could be saved. Recent question from a reader: Dear Fred,   My husband and I broke up 3 months ago. We reconciled a week ago. He had another lover during the time we were apart. A part of me wants to grill him until I get all the details about what happened. Another part of me thinks that’s the worst thing I can do. I have a friend in a similar situation. She is so obsessed about what happened during her breakup that she is constantly…

What To Do When Your Partner Wants to Leave Because of All The Fighting and Yelling

Marriage Counseling Insider secret for Saving Your Marriage: What To Do When Your Partner Wants to Leave Because of All The Fighting and Yelling   By Fred R. Talisman Licensed Marriage Counselor I’ve been doing couples counseling for over 20 years. During that time, I‘ve specialized in saving relationships that were on the verge of ending even when only one person still wanted the relationship to work and even when they had no hope that it could be saved. Recent question from a reader:   Hi Fred, My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. We have a baby together. We recently had a big fight and I yelled and screamed at him like I often do. He’s a pretty quiet guy. He usually doesn’t tell me what’s bothering him. After I calmed down, he opened up more with me. He said he hates my yelling and screaming. He also…

How to know if a marriage counselor is a relationship saver or a relationship ender before you ever do a first session with them

Marriage Counseling Insider secret for Saving Your Marriage: How to know if a marriage counselor is a relationship saver or a relationship ender before you ever do a first session with them By Fred R. Talisman Licensed Marriage, Family Counselor For over 20 years as a couples therapist, I‘ve specialized in saving relationships that were on the verge of ending even when only one person still wanted the relationship to work and even when they had no hope that it could be saved. You’ve probably known of couples that went to couples counseling and wound up breaking up. Even one session with the wrong couples therapist can finalize your breakup. The right one can be one of your biggest assets in saving your relationship.   When a relationship is in crisis, it’s in a very delicate state. Relationship counseling is not neutral. It can help make the relationship better. If…

What To Do When Parents or In-laws Are Adversely Affecting Your Relationship

Marriage Counseling Insider secret for Saving Your Marriage: What To Do When Parents or In-laws Are Adversely Affecting Your Relationship For over 20 years as a couples therapist, I‘ve specialized in saving relationships that were on the verge of ending even when only one person still wanted the relationship to work and even when they had no hope that it could be saved. As a marriage counselor, I’ve found that many of my clients have parents or in-laws that are, at times, adversely affecting their life and their relationship.  Here are some ideas that I’ve given to clients coming for couples counseling that might help that I recently gave to Sam. Sam has kindly given me permission to base this blog post on the exchange he and I had about this common marriage problem. Dear Fred, My Dad is widowed. He has lots of friends and is very active on almost…

Can Expressing Your Feelings Eliminate Your Ability to Get Your Partner’s Support?

Marriage Counseling Insider secret for Saving Your Marriage: Can Expressing Your Feelings Eliminate Your Ability to Get Your Partner’s Support? By Fred Talisman, Licensed Marriage Counselor For over 20 years of doing relationship counseling,  I‘ve specialized in saving marriages that were on the verge of ending even when only one person still wanted the relationship to work and even when they had no hope that it could be saved. One of the most common problems I’ve run across over the years of doing couples counseling is that most people don’t know how to successfully ask for what they want. They think that if they tell their partner how angry, hurt, disappointed and/or frustrated they are with them that they’ll get the support they want. In doing so, they usually get back the opposite. So, I wrote the following brief article to give you some better alternatives. Here it is: When I was a…

What the person initiating the breakup is really thinking

What the person initiating the breakup is really thinking By Fred Talisman, License Marriage Counselor For over 20 years I‘ve specialized in saving relationships that were on the verge of ending even when only one person still wanted the relationship to work and even when they had no hope that it could be saved. Do you want to know a true “insider secret”? Then read on to discover what the person initiating the breakup tells a trusted friend or therapist (and what they may not be telling you)! To create a turning point or a last chance with your partner, it will first help you to understand the relationship from their perspective. Here are some of the things I’ve been told by those who are on the verge of ending their relationship:     “I told my partner that I want to end the relationship, but I really want to stay…


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